Actual reference queries * Actual reference interviews * Flotsam from the Internet * Light bulb jokes * By popular demand
From: "Flanagan, Kimberly [JJCUS]" .KFLANAG@CORUS.JNJ.com
Passed on from a friend . . .
This collection was selected from the "Weird Reference Questions" thread that ran on LIBSUP-L, the Library Paraprofessionals Listserv in July 1997. Names and locations have been deleted partly because it was a lot easier to do it that way and partly to protect the reputations of all concerned. All of these situations are real and some of them were mighty embarrassing. Enjoy!
Actual reference queries reported by American and Canadian library reference desk workers of various levels.
reported by American and Canadian library reference desk workers of various levels.
===========================
Patron: "I'm looking for a book."
Mental answer 1: "Well, you're in the right place."
Mental answer 2: "Here's one." (Hand over nearest volume.)
Audible answer: "Can you be a little more specific?"
===========================
Patron: "I got a quote from a book I turned in last week but I forgot
to write down the author and title. It's big and red and I found it
on the top shelf. Can you find it for me?"
Mental answer: "Books classified by color are shelved downstairs in
the [non-existent] third sub-basement."
Audible answer: "What were you looking for when you found the book the
first time?"
===========================
In an art library:
Patron: Do you have any books on Art?
Ref: Yes. Did you have a certain artist in mind, or a period or style
in mind?
Patron: No.
Ref: I guess you'll have to look through our 120,000 books and see if
you find anything.
Patron: OK.
===========================
Patron: "Do you have anything good to read?"
Reference person getting her audible and mental answers
mixed up:
"No, ma'am. I'm afraid we have 75,000 books, and they're all duds."
===========================
Telephone patron: Do you have books on leaves?
Library worker: Nope, we keep them on shelves. (She then hung up.
Can you tell she's not too fond of Reference duty?)
===========================
Caller: "I have a painting by Vincent Van Gogh. It's all blue with
swirly stars on it. Can you tell me where I can get it appraised?"
Ref.: "Sir, does it say 'Metropolitan Museum of Art' on the bottom?
It does? Well, what you have there is a poster that they sell in the
gift shop. I think they're about $10.00."
===========================
Patron: "I am looking for a globe of the earth.
Ref: "We have a table-top model over here."
Patron: "No, that's not good enough. Don't you have a life
size?"
Ref (after a short pause): "Yes, but it's in use right now!"
===========================
Patron: "I have to write a two-page paper on the Civil War, can you
help?"
Ref: "What aspect of the war interests you?"
Patron: "What aspect? You
mean I have to choose something in particular about it? I thought I'd
just write about the whole thing."
===========================
New Technology Breakthrough: Introducing the
new Bio-Optic
Organized Knowledge device, trade-named "BOOK."
BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use, even a child can operate it. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc. Here's how it works: BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence.
Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs. Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now, BOOKS with more information simply use more pages. Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet.
BOOK may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it. BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting, though, like other devices, it can become damaged if coffee is spilled on it and it becomes unusable if dropped too many times on a hard surface. The "browse" feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Many come with an "index" feature, which pin-points the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.
An optional "BOOKmark" accessory allows you to open BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session -- even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOK- marks fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous BOOK markers can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number is limited only by the number of pages in the BOOK. You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with optional programming tools, Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Styli (PENCILS). Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave. BOOK's appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking to invest. Look for a flood of new titles soon.
Date: Mon, 15 Jun 1998 19:09:38 +0000
From: Marijah
Reply-To: marijah@juno.com
To: lissa_l@scils.rutgers.edu
Subject: Library humour
This is courtesy of IFLA.
How many academic librarians does it take to change a light bulb?
Just five. One changes the light bulb while the other four form a committee and
write a letter of protest to the Dean, because after all, changing light bulbs
IS NOT professional work!
How many catalogers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but they have to wait to see how LC does it first.
How many cataloguers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one provided it is in AACR2.
How many reference librarians does it take to change a light-bulb?
(with a perky smile) "Well, I don't know right off-hand, but I know where we
can look it up!"
How many reference librarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
None if it has a LCSH heading.
How many library system managers does it take to change a lightbulb?
All of them as the manual was lost in the last move (or flood).
How many library managers does it take to change a lightbulb?
At least one committee and a light bulb strategy focus meeting and plan.
How many library technicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seven. One to follow approved procedure, and six to review the procedure. (8
if you count the librarian they all report to).
Date: Tue, 16 Jun 1998 01:52:50 -0400 (EDT)
From: Daniel Meyer
To: marijah@juno.com
Cc: lissa_l@scils.rutgers.edu
Subject: Re: Library humour
A joke I read a while back:
How many cataloging librarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
We don't have lightbulbs. We have INCANDESCENT LAMPS.
--Danny Meyer
P.S. If you "get" all of these, you qualify for an honorary MLS right now! :-)
Incoming (2005) students Sharon Chapman and Megan Galvin made reference to the movie "Party Girl" (see http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114095/) for a light-hearted look at librarianship. As Sharon wrote, "It's probably the only movie ever made which has the heroine exclaim, 'I want to be a librarian!'"
She also suggested we include a link to Overdue Media, home of the comic strip "Unshelved" by Bill Barnes and Gene Ambaum.